Facilitating discussions on bias isn’t always smooth. Sometimes moments arise that test every skill I’ve developed—and those moments often become the most powerful teaching opportunities.
One of those times involved a young woman named Rose. When I called on the group to share examples of biases (“inflexible beliefs about particular categories of people”), Rose raised her hand and declared “All Mexicans are destructive.” Rose wasn’t embarrassed to say this – to her it was simply a truth.
Her words landed like a stone in the room. But instead of shutting her down, I used the moment to explore where biases come from and how they lose power when examined closely.
In Rose’s case, we accomplished this by:
§ Asking her why she believed what she did. She responded that two boys from her largely-Mexican neighborhood had deliberately destroyed her front fence.
§ Fair enough. That is until I asked her what she thought of the other people in the neighborhood. She responded with something like: “Oh they are wonderful people, we barbeque together, take care of each other’s kids, I wouldn’t live anywhere else.”
§ Then I asked her: “Why then – if the other neighbors are so great – you didn’t say when asked for a bias ‘All Mexicans are wonderful people’? Which, by the way, would be equally ridiculous. Any inflexible generality about a group of people is not going to hold up to reality.
Rose suddenly realized that one painful incident had tricked her into painting an entire group with the same brush. The shock on her face was the shock of self-discovery.
That moment reminded us all: Biases often arise not from reason, but from powerful experiences that hijack our thinking. By holding them up to the light, we can see them for what they are—and begin to let them go.
I am grateful to Rose. Her courage in speaking openly gave everyone in the room—including me—a chance to learn.
The material in this post reflects the ideas expressed in Dr. Thiederman’s book 3 Keys to Defeating Unconscious Bias and in the training videos Defeating Unconscious Bias: 5 Strategies and Gateways to Inclusion: Turning Tense Moments into Productive Conversations.
Sondra Thiederman can be contacted for virtual facilitation, and panel participation by clicking here or calling 619-992-3766. For additional information, go to this link to learn more about what Dr. Thiederman has to offer.
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