Fyodor Dostoyevsky, in Notes from Underground, describes our penchant for self-deception like this:
“Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone but only his friends. He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself and that in secret. But there are other things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.”
One category of Dostoyevsky’s secret thoughts is our biases, our secret and often unconscious beliefs that shape how we feel about other groups of people. I agree with Dostoyevsky that fear is the primary cause of this secrecy.
The fear that prevents us from admitting bias is that of having to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we may not be quite as nice or fair as we, and others, like to think we are. Until we overcome our dread of looking like, let’s say, “less-good” people, we will be unable and unwilling to acknowledge our biases, name them, and target them for extinction.
Everybody has biases – it’s not the fact we have them that’s the problem. It’s what we do about them that matters.
Exercise: For the next two weeks, practice noticing the first assumption that pops into your mind when encountering someone different from yourself. Onto itself, there’s nothing wrong with that initial thought. What is wrong is if we refuse to change it when we learn it is inaccurate. It’s the inflexibility that gets us in trouble and moves us into bias territory.
The material in this post reflects the ideas expressed in Dr. Thiederman’s book 3 Keys to Defeating Unconscious Bias and in the training videos Defeating Unconscious Bias: 5 Strategies and Gateways to Inclusion: Turning Tense Moments into Productive Conversations.
Sondra Thiederman can be contacted for virtual facilitation, and panel participation by clicking here or calling 619-992-3766. For additional information, go to this link to learn more about what Dr. Thiederman has to offer.
© copyright 2026 Sondra Thiederman, Ph.D.
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